To start, A moment of silence in thanks for the end of, quite possibly...
The. LONGEST. February. EVER*!!!!!
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Okay.
I'm not going to recap the month, specifically, but allow me ask a few questions/raise a few points (which may or may not allude to some of the things that may or may not have happened during the course of this month):
-Why is it the movies typically depict the female sex as the weepy, mopey, dramatic sex? So... so wrong.
-Valentine's Day. Thoughts? Hate it? Love it? Like it? Overrated? What? Personally, I think the holiday is whatever. It's cute to have a day devoted to the one you love...I guess. I think people sound bitter when they go overboard with the "singles awareness" b.s., but...haters gon' hate. Whatev.
-Boys are gay sometimes.
-Rain is gay all times. Especially when it comes within 24hrs of me having my g.d. car detailed.
-On a related note, meteorologists can go straight to hell. Let's round up all the weatherman, psychologists and anyone by the name of George Bush and shove them into Texas and then annex the entire thing to Mexico...
-Deep tissue massages are awesome. Feeling like you have the flu/have been in a horrific car accident shortly afterwards/the days following...isn't awesome.
-Medicine is gay.
-People dying is gay.
-My new spin-shoes are gay (more on this later).
To lighten the mood a bit...here are some things that kept me sane throughout this godawful month:
Sheldon. my soul mate.
(click the pic)
1. The fact that my boss sings this (yeah. to patients) EVERY TIME he is doing an extraction.
2. And the fact that I was mid-serious conversation (about who knows what) with Seriza while driving down the street one day and we passed a pedestrian who (I regrettably failed to notice sooner or there would be a pic here) was ROCKING THE HELL out of some intensely skin-tight fluorescent cheetah-print pants...and Seriza interrupts me, in rapid crescendo, with the following word/phrase (said so fast it initially registered as a single word in my head):
"thisishowIroLLANIMALPRINTPANTSOUTCONTROL!!!!"
No, but seriously.
There was a point in time, believe it or not, where Celeste, Clayt and I fought. Hardcore. I vaguely remember getting into fist fights with Clayt and actually, honestly wanting to kill him. And I've kicked Celeste so hard (not...so long ago, to be honest) that one of us ended up flying off of a bed...Anyway. That pic cracked me up.
Spin:
I started taking a spin class 2-3nights a week about a month and a half ago. I had tried it at 24hr but never really felt challenged by it. Well, for whatever reason, these guys kick my trash...and I love it (oh, and the instructors are VERY good looking...which always helps). So much. Well, a couple of weeks ago, I was looking around the class and noticed that the majority of the people in there had special spin-shoes, so I started thinking about and then looking for places that sold indoor cycling shoes (no I'm not going to start wearing a live-strong bracelet EVER, don't worry, just trying to get tight and right for summer). Well, last Thursday my friend/coworker/lady that introduced me to the multigen-spin classes met up with me and we found some spin shoes! I forgot to bring them to class on Monday, but tonight I tried them out. And...
It was such a February moment.
(photo courtesy of Jess. Beeeeeeyotch sat on her bike and laughed at me the whole time... and sure, I would have done the EXACT same thing were it her this was happening to...but... ugh. grr)
Eff. My. Life. I got to class 10min early thinking that was PLENTY of time to figure my sh*t out/how to "clip in" to the bike. NOPE. Not this girl. Ugh. It was ugly. At one point there were at least 4 people around the bike and another 10 behind us on their bikes voicing their thoughts/opinions. Humiliating. And. The kicker: the ONLY bike I was able to get my cleats to "clip into" happened to be the bike in the front row. Dead center. RIGHT in front of McSexy-Cyclist (aka Paul, the instructor). FML. FML. FML. FML. FML. Whatever. I got my shoes to click into the stupid pedals and did EVERYTHING IN MY POWER to keep the g.d.things in place. I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I'm keeping them...maybe it was just a faggy-february-finale send off on this wonderful 29th day of the month...or maybe I'm special-ed and will never catch on to the dumb things and should just go back to my tennis shoes...hmmm?
~HERE'S TO FREAKIN' MARCH!!!!! :)
A parting video, in celebration of my February survival...
*okay, maybe not ever, but at least in the last 4yrs...
-I just think you should blog full-time.
ReplyDelete-Boys are gay, but I'm not going to be a man-basher. That's lesbian.
-I love that you saw Bryan the masseuse, I think he's nicknamed, "The Wrecking Ball". He will jack you up.
-I called dibbs on Sheldon. I heart him BAD. <3
-Neville is so hot now, who saw that coming?
-I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF when Jess texted me the pic of you and your gaggle of cyclists trying to work your shoes. It was truly the highlight of my February.
-I have an issue with the 10 more powerful lefties, where do we fall on that list? Surely before the Emporer of China? And mos def before the POPE!
I think I like February. Cool lefthanded people, I could probably spew off 100 more powerful righties though? And they would prob have better handwriting. Your cycling story? diggity.
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