The Caribbean

Hiii.

Alright, trip #1 of this summer was to the Caribbean. I dunno when it was...end of May I guess. Anyway, Here goes:

The cruise line: Royal Caribbean

The ship: The Allure of the Seas

The trip: Eastern Caribbean

A once in a life time thing...

It all started...at Midnight on the Saturday RIGHT after Jess' graduation (*blog about that). The plane went from Vegas to Memphis, and then from Memphis to Ft Lauderdale. Florida sucks. Literally. I walked off of the plane and into the tunnel and felt like my clothes were shrink-wrapping themselves to my every body-part. 

I HATE HUMIDITY. 

We took a cab from the airport to our port and the cab driver was from Haiti (I totally spoke Haitian with him. Sak pase!). Very nice guy...

Once at the port, our check in procedure was very simple, organized and well choreographed. Royal Caribbean is a well oiled machine. I was very impressed! And LOVE the fact that there were hand-sanitizers every 3 feet ALL OVER the ship. !!!.

The ship is enormous. I was thinking it would be (the guy on the phone...when I called and asked what there was to do on the ship...told me it is the larges ship in the world, no other will ever be as big, blah blah blah. Go here for more info.), but I wasn't ready for what it was...

(out of order, but this is the little ditty that took us from US VI to British VI in St Martin) 

One of the BEST things about the cruise:

Animal Towels!!!

We had the best room-attendant (Kamal, aka Ha-beeb. Ris is racist), 

but more on that later.

The ship was beautiful. 

Tons of theaters and whatnot. This was taken before the aquatic show

(basically a lame version of O @ the Bellagio)

The Boardwalk

(where most of our time not eating was spent)

there was a friggin carousel on the ship.

this was taken when eating at windjammers buffet on the 16th floor

(probably my favorite spot. no, park place was my favorite)

See? Giant.

The minigolf course and part of the zip line

(St. Thomas in the background)

Basketball court

(just on the other side was a stationary surfing thing, the Flowrider)

Park Place area

(where I ate 50x's a day)

one of the rock walls

one of the fun shows we got to see!!!

So, we got seriously bored and decided to make a towel animal for Ha beeb...

and I think it turned out freakin' rad.

When we returned though, Ha beeb had changed up the octopus and added a lobster!

a bat?

We checked in to the room, were informed we wouldn't receive our luggage until later in the day and decided to go book shows for the week and then take a little nap. We awoke a bit later (once the ship had left port and was on its way) in order to head to our "emergency area" (area we were assigned to go, in the "unlikely event" of an emergency...psh. Unlikely. I think not. *see here*). After we reviewed the emergency procedures (the cruising version of watching the flight attendant buckle and unbuckle a seat belt), we set off to our room to get ready for dinner.

Right before dinner, I started feeling pretty queasy, but hadn't eaten since the day before...so I held off on taking dramamine (BIG mistake. HUGE.). I got to dinner and...to this day am amazed I didn't blow chunks all over the senior citizens we sat with. After dinner, I took my pill and we went to our show!

We went and saw Chicago! The cruise ship has several theaters, one of which was used for Broadway-esque shows. When I say we went and saw Chicago, I mean we went and took a nap in a cool, dark theater, while other people watched Chicago. I saw a bit of it, but Ris slept...90% of the show.

After that...we went to bed.

Monday morning we were in port at Nassau! We bought tickets to go to the Atlantis resort water park and...that was the most expensive nap I've ever taken. 

We got off the ship RIGHT when we could to maximize our day (we were only scheduled to be in Nassau from 8am-5pm, so we wanted to get to the park early). We arrived at the Atlantis resort and walked through the casino and then into the water park. It was EXACTLY like walking through a station casino and then outside into something like The Beach at Mandalay bay...except with 5-10 water slides. :| 

DO NOT EVER GO TO THE ATLANTIS IN THE BAHAMAS. 

JUST GOOGLE IMAGE THAT ISH.

It's so much more impressive on Google. Seriously. And it's kinda cool to say you've been there I guess...but no. Not for $500/night. Stay in Vegas.

So, when we walked into the "waterpark," we found out the park didn't open until 10am. ...Awesome. We decided to pull up a lounge chair and take a nap until the park opened. Once the park was up and running...we kept napping!!!! BAHAHAHAAAAA! I couldn't have cared less. At about noon (napping the entire time), Ris looked over at me and said, "wanna head back to the ship?" I grunted and we went back and then...yep, fell asleep. I don't know what it was. Jet lag, time change, the water-bed night sleep...whatever it was, we were EXHAUSTED that day. Again, THE MOST EXPENSIVE nap I've EVER taken in my life. 

That night...I think we went to dinner and chilled. Tuesday was an at-sea day, which meant being stuck on the boat all day. It doesn't sound too terrible, especially with the size of the boat, but I don't drink. Or gamble. Or eat all day (well...I did...but I don't). So I was kind of miserable. They did have pools and stuff, but it was really cloudy/rainy on Tuesday and I don't like that...

Wednesday we were in port in St. Martin, where we were scheduled to swim with dolphins...

We woke up super early and got all of the document they listed to bring...and then headed off the ship...into the PORT O POTTY/DEATH smell of St. Martin (The WORST smell I've ever experienced. Ever). We found the group we were dolphin-swimming with and...found out we were supposed to have our passports because we were traveling from the US Virgin Islands to the British Virgin Islands...so ris ran and got our passports (.5mile run, 14 flights of stairs and 2 looong hallways in 1,000% humidity and 100 degree F heat. I, however, had to communicate with the human-puss-in-boots, filling out documents and trying not to faint (the smell). NBD). When everything was filled out and passports were in hand, we headed to our little yacht. 

Beautiful St Martin

PIRATES!!! 

this was one of the signs designating which line to stand in

when passing through the British VI customs... :)

The yacht-ride to the dolphin area was almost an hour long. 

Very pretty. Very sunny. Veerrrrrrrrry sunny. 

Driving on the wrong side of the road 

will always be a trip to me...

a bird? a plane?

a friggen dinosaur.

BECAUSE THEY MIGHT BE MAN 

EATING DINOSAUR DRAGONS

(caribbean water IS incredible, I'll give it that much)

the dolphin area was sectioned off by these plank-things and 

netting-fence extending down from the plank-things 

to keep the dolphins from free-willy-ing it.

Once we were oriented with the activities of the day, I became anxious. I think "swimming with dolphins" was just one of those things I thought I might do..."someday," kinda like I think I'll die "someday," but...when someday came...somebody wasn't ready/willing. 

Good thing I had Ris tho...she's complete chicken poop!

the dolphins we swam with: ? and Calypso

(they're boyfriend and girlfriend...according to the trainers)

Dolphins are stupid looking up close. This pic illustrates this fact quite well. I had no idea how ugly they were until I was face to freakin' face with one, but it looks like a wuss shark mated with a...sloth.Their eyes are in awkward spots and they're...creepy.

okokokokok.

So ris was THE MOST TERRIFIED and she ended up having to do the "swim on it's belly" thing first. What we had to do was swim all the way out into the middle of the squared off thing, put our arms out and then tread water...while waiting for the dolphin to swim AT you and UNDER you. You then had to grab it's slippery fins as it swam by and hold on for dear life while it streamlined upside-down towards the plank everyone was waiting at. Very cool...once you're done, terrifying during. 

see? I'm not so sure about it...

I thought it'd be best if i wore my least-exposing swimsuit (all sorts of horrific scenarios had played out in my head when mentally preparing for this adventure), so I wore this green thing that day...It worked out really well! Nothing slipped up or down, however...

I got an Iron Man circle seared into my chest

(it's STILL there, and STILL very, very noticeable)

After swimming with the dolphins, we went and tried to get a little shopping in, but things close pretty early over there, so not much was accomplished, but I had a lot of fun and was really impressed with the overall beauty of St. Martin.

Wednesday night was fun. Ris went to a comedy show and I didn't. 

Thursday we ported in St. Thomas and decided to cancel our excursions so we could spend a small fortune (more than most people make in a year) on THINGS!!! (watches, purses, shirts, magical african dirt-cream for our burns, etc). 

C-L-E-A-R water.

While walking around the shops, we spotted this neat little sign

not-so-dodgy alleyways 

I dunno if startrek (?) people love the caribbean or what the deal is, but the guy that invented Yoda lives there? Has all of his memorabilia there? Weird.

LIZARDS EVERYWHERE!!!!

classy hoops

SO HOT

(gave Venice a serious run for its money)

Thursday was a HUGE success. Everything wanted was purchased (and then some). We returned to the ship, showered, saw the awesome comedy show and then rested the rest of...the cruise really. St. Thomas was our last port, then we turned around and headed back to Port Canaveral.

The lovely Purell stations were EVERYWHERE.

One night we thoroughly examined the many "rafts" hanging on 

the side of the ship (more like submarines) and talked 

worse-case-scenario strategy.

Deck 4 on the ship was a running/walking track. 1 time around the ship was .33mile or so, and there were awesome "encouraging" signs all over the place...

(huh?)

AND FINALLY...

HA BEEB!!!!!

I'm pretty sure Kamal was in love with us. Probably because we were nice and clean and talked to him and gave him lots of tips...but he was ALWAYS around us. He is from Mauritius ("Maur-ee-sos," between Seychelles/Madagascar, I believe) and a lovely human being. He makes one hell of a towel animal and can make his ears dance using mind tricks. Hilarious. I should have written down some of the stories he told...such a character! :)

I had a lot of fun during certain portions of the cruise. I don't think I'll ever do another one (maaaaybe the Alaskan cruise, just because I've heard awesome things about it).

Also. All of my return trips from here on out will be DIRECT flights. Maybe even first class. It sucks to get home from a cruise and feel wiped out. Especially when you return to an awesomely sympathetic family such as mine...

(saw this article and wanted to save it for me. Maybe you'll like it too. Maybe not. Whatev)

MARK MANSONJULY 10, 2012

10 Things Most Americans Don’t Know About America

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Imagine you have a brother and he’s an alcoholic. He has his moments, but you keep your distance from him. You don’t mind him for the occasional family gathering or holiday. You still love him. But you don’t want to be around him.

This is how I lovingly describe my current relationship with the United States. The United States is my alcoholic brother. And although I will always love him, I don’t want to be near him at the moment.

I know that’s harsh, but I really feel my home country is not in a good place these days. That’s not a socio-economic statement (although that’s on the decline as well), but rather a cultural one.

I realize it’s going to be impossible to write sentences like the ones above without coming across as a raging prick, so let me try to soften the blow to my American readers with an analogy:

You know when you move out of your parents’ house and live on your own, how you start hanging out with your friends’ families and you realize that actually, your family was a little screwed up? Stuff you always assumed was normal your entire childhood, it turns out was pretty weird and may have actually fucked you up a little bit. You know, dad thinking it was funny to wear a Santa Claus hat in his underwear every Christmas or the fact that you and your sister slept in the same bed until you were 22, or that your mother routinely cried over a bottle of wine while listening to Elton John.

The point is we don’t really get perspective on what’s close to us until we spend time away from it. Just like you didn’t realize the weird quirks and nuances of your family until you left and spent time with others, the same is true for country and culture. You often don’t see what’s messed up about your country and culture until you step outside of it.

And so even though this article is going to come across as fairly scathing, I want my American readers to know: some of the stuff we do, some of the stuff that we always assumed was normal, it’s kind of screwed up. And that’s OK. Because that’s true with every culture. It’s just easier to spot it in others (i.e., the French) so we don’t always notice it in ourselves.

So as you read this article, know that I’m saying everything with tough love, the same tough love with which I’d sit down and lecture an alcoholic family member. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It doesn’t mean there aren’t some awesome things about you (BRO, THAT’S AWESOME!!!). And it doesn’t mean I’m some saint either, because god knows I’m pretty screwed up (I’m American, after all). There are just a few things you need to hear. And as a friend, I’m going to tell them to you.

And to my foreign readers, get your necks ready, because this is going to be a nod-a-thon.

A Little “What The Hell Does This Guy Know?” Background: I’ve lived in different parts of the US, both the deep south and the northeast. I have visited most of the US’s 50 states. I’ve spent the past three years living almost entirely outside of the United States. I’ve lived in multiple countries in Europe, Asia and South America. I’ve visited over 40 countries in all and have spent far more time with non-Americans than with Americans during this period. I speak multiple languages. I’m not a tourist. I don’t stay in resorts and rarely stay in hostels. I rent apartments and try to integrate myself into each country I visit as much as possible. So there.

(Note: I realize these are generalizations and I realize there are always exceptions. I get it. You don’t have to post 55 comments telling me that you and your best friend are exceptions. If you really get that offended from some guy’s blog post, you may want to double-check your life priorities.)

OK, we’re ready now. 10 things Americans don’t know about America.

1. Few People Are Impressed By Us

Unless you’re speaking with a real estate agent or a prostitute, chances are they’re not going to be excited that you’re American. It’s not some badge of honor we get to parade around. Yes, we had Steve Jobs and Thomas Edison, but unless you actuallyare Steve Jobs or Thomas Edison (which is unlikely) then most people around the world are simply not going to care. There are exceptions of course. And those exceptions are called English and Australian people. Whoopdie-fucking-doo.

As Americans, we’re brought up our entire lives being taught that we’re the best, we did everything first and that the rest of the world follows our lead. Not only is this not true, but people get irritated when you bring it to their country with you. So don’t.

2. Few People Hate Us

Despite the occasional eye-rolling, and complete inability to understand why anyone would vote for George W. Bush, people from other countries don’t hate us either. In fact — and I know this is a really sobering realization for us — most people in the world don’t really think about us or care about us. I know, that sounds absurd, especially with CNN and Fox News showing the same 20 angry Arab men on repeat for ten years straight. But unless we’re invading someone’s country or threatening to invade someone’s country (which is likely), then there’s a 99.99% chance they don’t care about us. Just like we rarely think about the people in Bolivia or Mongolia, most people don’t think about us much. They have jobs, kids, house payments — you know, those things called lives — to worry about. Kind of like us.

Americans tend to assume that the rest of the world either loves us or hates us (this is actually a good litmus test to tell if someone is conservative or liberal). The fact is, most people feel neither. Most people don’t think much about us.

Remember that immature girl in high school, who every little thing that happened to her meant that someone either hated her or was obsessed with her; who thought every teacher who ever gave her a bad grade was being totally unfair and everything good that happened to her was because of how amazing she was? Yeah, we’re that immature high school girl.

3. We Know Nothing About The Rest Of The World

For all of our talk about being global leaders and how everyone follows us, we don’t seem to know much about our supposed “followers.” They often have completely different takes on history than we do. Here were some brain-stumpers for me: the Vietnamese believe the Vietnam War was about China (not us), Hitler was primarily defeated by Russia (not us), Native Americans were wiped out largely disease and plague (not us), and the American Revolution was “won” because the British cared more about beating France (not us). Notice a running theme here?

(Hint: It’s not all about us.)

We did not invent democracy. We didn’t even invent modern democracy. There were parliamentary systems in England and other parts of Europe over a hundred years before we created government. In a recent survey of young Americans, 63% could not find Iraq on a map (despite being at war with them), and 54% did not know Sudan was a country in Africa. Yet, somehow we’re positive that everyone else looks up to us.

4. We Are Poor At Expressing Gratitude And Affection

There’s a saying about English-speakers. We say “Go fuck yourself,” when we really mean “I like you,” and we say “I like you,” when we really mean “Go fuck yourself.”

Outside of getting shit-housed drunk and screaming “I LOVE YOU, MAN!”, open displays of affection in American culture are tepid and rare. Latin and some European cultures describe us as “cold” and “passionless” and for good reason. In our social lives we don’t say what we mean and we don’t mean what we say.

In our culture, appreciation and affection are implied rather than spoken outright. Two guy friends call each other names to reinforce their friendship; men and women tease and make fun of each other to imply interest. Feelings are almost never shared openly and freely. Consumer culture has cheapened our language of gratitude. Something like, “It’s so good to see you” is empty now because it’s expected and heard from everybody.

In dating, when I find a woman attractive, I almost always walk right up to her and tell her that a) I wanted to meet her, and b) she’s beautiful. In America, women usually get incredibly nervous and confused when I do this. They’ll make jokes to defuse the situation or sometimes ask me if I’m part of a TV show or something playing a prank. Even when they’re interested and go on dates with me, they get a bit disoriented when I’m so blunt with my interest. Whereas, in almost every other culture approaching women this way is met with a confident smile and a “Thank you.”

5. The Quality of Life For The Average American Is Not That Great

If you’re extremely talented or intelligent, the US is probably the best place in the world to live. The system is stacked heavily to allow people of talent and advantage to rise to the top quickly.

The problem with the US is that everyone thinks they are of talent and advantage. As John Steinbeck famously said, the problem with poor Americans is that “they don’t believe they’re poor, but rather temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” It’s this culture of self-delusion that allows America to continue to innovate and churn out new industry more than anyone else in the world. But this shared delusion also unfortunately keeps perpetuating large social inequalities and the quality of life for the average citizen lower than most other developed countries. It’s the price we pay to maintain our growth and economic dominance.

In my Guide to Wealth, I defined being wealthy as, “Having the freedom to maximize one’s life experiences.” In those terms, despite the average American having more material wealth than citizens of most other countries (more cars, bigger houses, nicer televisions), their overall quality of life suffers in my opinion. American people on average work more hours with less vacation, spend more time commuting every day, and are saddled with over $10,000 of debt. That’s a lot of time spent working and buying crap and little time or disposable income for relationships, activities or new experiences.

6. The Rest Of The World Is Not A Slum-Ridden Shithole Compared To Us

In 2010, I got into a taxi in Bangkok to take me to a new six-story cineplex. It was accessible by metro, but I chose a taxi instead. On the seat in front of me was a sign with a wifi password. Wait, what? I asked the driver if he had wifi in his taxi. He flashed a huge smile. The squat Thai man, with his pidgin English, explained that he had installed it himself. He then turned on his new sound system and disco lights. His taxi instantly became a cheesy nightclub on wheels… with free wifi.

If there’s one constant in my travels over the past three years, it has been that almost every place I’ve visited (especially in Asia and South America) is much nicer and safer than I expected it to be. Singapore is pristine. Hong Kong makes Manhattan look like a suburb. My neighborhood in Colombia is nicer than the one I lived in in Boston (and cheaper).

As Americans, we have this naïve assumption that people all over the world are struggling and way behind us. They’re not. Sweden and South Korea have more advanced high speed internet networks. Japan has the most advanced trains and transportation systems. Norwegians make more money. The biggest and most advanced plane in the world is flown out of Singapore. The tallest buildings in the world are now in Dubai and Shanghai. Meanwhile, the US has the highest incarceration rate in the world.

What’s so surprising about the world is how unsurprising most of it is. I spent a week with some local guys in Cambodia. You know what their biggest concerns were? Paying for school, getting to work on time, and what their friends were saying about them. In Brazil, people have debt problems, hate getting stuck in traffic and complain about their overbearing mothers. Every country thinks they have the worst drivers. Every country thinks their weather is unpredictable. The world becomes, err… predictable.

7. We’re Paranoid

Not only are we emotionally insecure as a culture, but I’ve come to realize how paranoid we are about our physical security. You don’t have to watch Fox News or CNN for more than 10 minutes to hear about how our drinking water is going to kill us, our neighbor is going to rape our children, some terrorist in Yemen is going to kill us because we didn’t torture him, Mexicans are going to kill us, or some virus from a bird is going to kill us. There’s a reason we have more guns than people.

In the US, security trumps everything, even liberty. We’re paranoid.

I’ve probably been to 10 countries now that friends and family back home told me explicitly not to go because someone was going to kill me, kidnap me, stab me, rob me, rape me, sell me into sex trade, give me HIV, or whatever else. None of that has happened. I’ve never been robbed and I’ve walked through some of the shittiest parts of Asia, Latin America and Eastern Europe.

In fact, the experience has been the opposite. In countries like Russia, Colombia or Guatemala, people were so friendly it actually scared me. Some stranger in a bar would invite me to his house for a bar-b-que with his family, a random person on the street would offer to show me around and give me directions to a store I was trying to find. My American instincts were always that, “Wait, this guy is going to try to rob me or kill me,” but they never did. They were just insanely friendly.

8. We’re Status-Obsessed And Seek Attention

I’ve noticed that the way we Americans communicate is usually designed to create a lot of attention and hype. Again, I think this is a product of our consumer culture: the belief that something isn’t worthwhile or important unless it’s perceived to be the best (BEST EVER!!!) or unless it gets a lot of attention (see: every reality-television show ever made).

This is why Americans have a peculiar habit of thinking everything is “totally awesome,” and even the most mundane activities were “the best thing ever!” It’s the unconscious drive we share for importance and significance, this unmentioned belief, socially beaten into us since birth that if we’re not the best at something, then we don’t matter.

We’re status-obsessed. Our culture is built around achievement, production and being exceptional. Therefore comparing ourselves and attempting to out-do one another has infiltrated our social relationships as well. Who can slam the most beers first? Who can get reservations at the best restaurant? Who knows the promoter to the club? Who dated a girl on the cheerleading squad? Socializing becomes objectified and turned into a competition. And if you’re not winning, the implication is that you are not important and no one will like you.

9. We Are Very Unhealthy

Unless you have cancer or something equally dire, the health care system in the US sucks. The World Health Organization ranked the US 37th in the world for health care, despite the fact that we spend the most per capita by a large margin.

The hospitals are nicer in Asia (with European-educated doctors and nurses) and cost a tenth as much. Something as routine as a vaccination costs multiple hundreds of dollars in the US and less than $10 in Colombia. And before you make fun of Colombian hospitals, Colombia is 28th in the world on that WHO list, nine spots higher than us.

A routine STD test that can run you over $200 in the US is free in many countries to anyone, citizen or not. My health insurance the past year? $65 a month. Why? Because I live outside of the US. An American guy I met living in Buenos Aires got knee surgery on his ACL that would have cost $10,000 in the US… for free.

But this isn’t really getting into the real problems of our health. Our food is killing us. I’m not going to go crazy with the details, but we eat chemically-laced crap because it’s cheaper and tastes better (profit, profit). Our portion sizes are absurd (more profit). And we’re by far the most prescribed nation in the world AND our drugs cost five to ten times more than they do even in Canada (ohhhhhhh, profit, you sexy bitch).

In terms of life expectancy, despite being the richest country in the world, we come in a paltry 38th. Right behind Cuba, Malta and the United Arab Emirates, and slightly ahead of Slovenia, Kuwait and Uruguay. Enjoy your Big Mac.

10. We Mistake Comfort For Happiness

The United States is a country built on the exaltation of economic growth and personal ingenuity. Small businesses and constant growth are celebrated and supported above all else — above affordable health care, above respectable education, above everything. Americans believe it’s your responsibility to take care of yourself and make something of yourself, not the state’s, not your community’s, not even your friend’s or family’s in some instances.

Comfort sells easier than happiness. Comfort is easy. It requires no effort and no work. Happiness takes effort. It requires being proactive, confronting fears, facing difficult situations, and having unpleasant conversations.

Comfort equals sales. We’ve been sold comfort for generations and for generations we bought: bigger houses, separated further and further out into the suburbs; bigger TV’s, more movies, and take-out. The American public is becoming docile and complacent. We’re obese and entitled. When we travel, we look for giant hotels that will insulate us and pamper us rather than for legitimate cultural experiences that may challenge our perspectives or help us grow as individuals.

Depression and anxiety disorders are soaring within the US. Our inability to confront anything unpleasant around us has not only created a national sense of entitlement, but it’s disconnected us from what actually drives happiness: relationships, unique experiences, feeling self-validated, achieving personal goals. It’s easier to watch a NASCAR race on television and tweet about it than to actually get out and try something new with a friend.

Unfortunately, a by-product of our massive commercial success is that we’re able to avoid the necessary emotional struggles of life in lieu of easy superficial pleasures.

*********************

Throughout history, every dominant civilization eventually collapsed because it became TOO successful. What made it powerful and unique grows out of proportion and consumes its society. I think this is true for American society. We’re complacent, entitled and unhealthy. My generation is the first generation of Americans who will be worse off than their parents, economically, physically and emotionally. And this is not due to a lack of resources, to a lack of education or to a lack of ingenuity. It’s corruption and complacency. The corruption from the massive industries that control our government’s policies, and the fat complacency of the people to sit around and let it happen.

There are things I love about my country. I don’t hate the US and I still return to it a few times a year. But I think the greatest flaw of American culture is our blind self-absorption. In the past it only hurt other countries. But now it’s starting to hurt ourselves.

So this is my lecture to my alcoholic brother — my own flavor of arrogance and self-absorption, even if slightly more informed — in hopes he’ll give up his wayward ways. I imagine it’ll fall on deaf ears, but it’s the most I can do for now. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some funny cat pictures to look at.

http://postmasculine.com/america

Guess I'll go back to school after all...

This lady has discovered the secret! I may be out of a job/career soon...

LOL

I'm the most unoriginal person in the world.
Or the least original.
Can't decide.

Just thinkin'