Please. Just check me out....

I love to shop. A lot. More than...well, more than I should. I'm ESPECIALLY excited because the Tuttle birthday season (6/10 of us in less than 2 months)/Holidays are upon us! :D

I totally get the "retail therapy" thing. I have no clue why, but I can walk in to a store (9 times out of 10, it's Target), spend an hour roaming around and then walk out with $200 worth of stuff I didn't know I needed (the newest season of The Office? Yep. Cute stationary? Sure. More tank-tops? Mhm. Etc, etc, etc), feeling more serene and relaxed than ever before...

What I hate about shopping? The Checkout.

Not because they're about to take a day or so's pay from me... but for the following two reasons:

1. "Rewards":

"Would you like to apply for a _____ card and save __% off of your purchase today?"

"Are you a member of our _____ rewards club?"

"Do you have a _____-team card?"

"Would you like to start earning points by joining our _____ program?"

Etc.

Depending upon my mood... "No thank you." "Thanks, but no." "No. Sorry, I'm in a hurry." "I'm not, no." "No I don't want it and I really don't need to hear about it." and most frequently... " No. :| " (the "serious" face)

I'd be much nicer if they weren't so persistent about getting you to sign-up. The guy at Footlocker the other day asked if I was a "member of ___?___." I said that I wasn't, he and 2 other sales associates exchanged some look I couldn't quite interpret, and then one of the baboons proceeded to ask if I liked saving money... (to which I replied, "No. :|").

I already have more stupid little key-chain tags, punch/stamp and "club" cards stuffed in all of the different compartments of my wallet than I'd care to admit...

What the deuce? Why is everyone all of the sudden on this stupid little "club card" bandwagon? GRR. Let's drop it people!

2. The INFAMOUS: "Did you find everything okay?!"

No. I've waited in the only open checkout line for 25 minutes behind two Mexican entourages, a couple of overwhelmingly odorous Abercrombie-smelling high school idiots, an unhygienic old guy with his obese daughter (wife?) in the ride-around chair-deal and the inattentive mom with a cart-full of screaming kids to ask for your help with finding a few things...

No. You're store is incredibly unorganized and ridiculous to navigate around. Here is a hard copy of my reorganization plan for your store. Present this to management and insure its completion before I return...

No. So I'm buying this instead. (sometimes true...)

I seriously fear that one of these days, one of my more...ahem...charming responses...is going to shoot across my lips at the poor, unsuspecting retail-clerk before I can gather myself and sensor... :\

Too bad these things don't keep me from my spending... oh, and praise j for Amazon :)

Happy shopping...

******P.S.******

SO...I went to Bed Bath and Beyond the other day and as I was getting ready to checkout... GUESS WHAT I SAW!!!

:|

Case. In. Point.